The Power of Truth

Explore the concept of truth by working through a situation in your life that troubles you using Will Schutz PhD Levels of Truth Framework.

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Workbook Pages 35 - 37

The Levels of Truth | Page 37

  • Alright. Now that you've explored your mindset, you've been able to identify situations where you had a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. And I hope that you noticed a growth mindset allows for more freedom and creativity and opportunity. It allows us to make mistakes and to fail forward. A fixed mindset really holds us back.
  • So one thing that I use to keep me on track is if I feel like I'm stuck in my fixed mindset is I remind myself of my values. And I allow my values to pull me forward, to try new things into my next possibility. And I shift my thinking from fixed mindset thinking to growth mindset thinking. Now I think there's three pillars of self understanding that are essential to breakthrough, are self imposed limitations, those internal barriers that we identified at the beginning of this section.
  • And I think that. Again, our mindset, how we see the world profoundly impacts the way we do our life. And the second pillar of self-understanding is how willing are we to tell the truth to truth to ourself and to others? So think about what it would be like. What do you think would happen if we were always open?
  • If you're always sharing what was up with you, if you always told people how you felt, what do you think would happen. And what do you think would happen if everyone was always hoping? What would change? What would the world be like? Would it be frightening or would it be comfortable and think about what kinds of things you can't tell because it would make you vulnerable.
  • It would hurt other people's feelings or it wouldn't be strategic. This is all around thinking about how you feel about truth telling. You know, we've created a whole culture around withholding the truth. We call it tact, diplomacy, political correctness, manners. It's just business. All those kinds of things.
  • You know, we all have those friends who tell us what we want to hear, and then those other friends who tell us what we, what we need to hear and who are the friends we trust the most, the ones that tell us the truth. So this module is all about exploring your capacity and your willingness to tell the truth first to yourself and then to others.
  • This isn't a judgemental concept. It's not good, bad, right or wrong, and that has nothing to do with sort of a, a spiritual unfolding. It's really connected to how willing I am to share what's up with me. So first, let's explore like what is truth. Truth means. Now, just consider this definition just for today.
  • Truth means what is, it's your experience, your memories, your thoughts, your feelings, and your sensations. That's it. It's just your perspective. So truth telling really has a lot to do with your willingness to share what's going on inside of you. It has to do with a balance of self awareness and self disclosure.
  • Now. Truth telling requires a balance of self awareness and self disclosure. I need to know about myself and I have to be willing to share it. That is connected to how willing we are to tell the truth. Again, it's not good, bad, right or wrong. It just is. So the real breakthrough in our relationships, first with ourselves and with others is our willingness to tell the truth.
  • And here's the thing again, we built this whole culture around withholding the truth. Again, tact, diplomacy. We have little white lies. Uh, it wouldn't be strategic. It might hurt your feelings. Like for example, we tell our three year old, go kiss your grandma. And they say, I don't want to kiss grandma.
  • Grandma's stinks. And you say, go kiss grandma. Anyway. And really what's going on is we're telling our child to do something that's completely against how they're feeling. So we teach them how to lie first to themselves. And really what it's all about is us not feeling good or comfortable with them in their truth.
  • Does that make sense? Do you get what I'm saying? It's like we teach our young children how to lie, how to go against what's right. For themselves. And then they become teenagers. And we wonder why they lie to us and they don't tell us the truth. And we get angry. It's confusing, right? We hold back in the workplace.
  • You know, we, we, we say to our friend, um, how does this look on me? And they say, Oh, it looks great because they don't want to hurt your feelings, but it really has nothing to do with your feelings. Does it? It has to do with my feeling of how I might. Um, have to cope with your reaction to my truth. So let me go a little bit deeper into that.
  • A number of years ago, I took a workshop. This is, I mean, 20 plus years ago, I went down to California and I took a workshop that I thought was going to help me be a better, um. Uh, life, uh, career counselor. I lived in a town, I didn't have a job. So the only job I could get was to become a career counselor, which I find kind of ironic.
  • I didn't have one, but I was teaching other people how to get a job. So I was told if I went and took this course in California, I'd be better at my job. And I was introduced to this model, this concept of truth, by will chutes and of course, called the human element that actually set me on my path of self discovery.
  • It was profound when I was able to apply this model to my own life. I was in a place where I blamed everyone for what was going on for me. You see, early on in this course, I told you I've had times when I've, um, felt like, uh. The world was against me. And what I realized is that I created my world. And oftentimes when things were going wrong, it was because I was off track and I wasn't living my values.
  • And when I attended this course, it really, again, it set me on this path. So this model called levels of truth, it helped me understand how. If I was willing to go beneath what was happening on the surface and look at my part in a situation, I was able to resolve a lot of conflict in my life. Now, let me share with you this model, and you're going to have an opportunity to put a scenario of your own into this model.
  • So again, I was introduced to this model in California and it really changed the way. I saw myself in conflict and it's called the levels of truth. So I'm going to walk you through this model and I'm going to share my own example and then give you an opportunity to see if you can see yourself in this model.
  • So when we talk about the levels of truth, a minus one level is called self deception, where I'm completely unaware of what's going on. The next level, the level zero is where I'm aware of what's going on, but I choose to withhold it. I'm not telling you, and with each level we go deeper into truth. The first level of truth is when we begin to share with the other person that something's up and we say it's the name calling stage, where you are a jerk, and then the next level we begin to give them, we share a feeling towards you.
  • I feel disliked. Then at a deeper level, we go into giving them a reason. You know, you're a jerk. I dislike you because you don't appreciate my work. So now we're getting really clear on what's going on. And a lot of times, truth telling stops there at the third level because we feel like we've given the person a reason now just get it together.
  • Right? But there's two more levels. That we can go to level four is when we begin to think what it's like for them. We're beginning to step outside of ourselves to see the situation and we're imagining how they feel about us. That's where we're making up a story. We're great storytellers, so you're a jerk.
  • I dislike you. You don't appreciate my work because you think I'm insignificant. And that's a real deep level of truth. But you know what? There's another level that is really where all the magic happens, where the juice lives and the level five is when we turn it back on ourselves and really what's true is what we're assigning them is what's true for us.
  • It's our fear. So you're a jerk towards you. I feel dislike because you don't appreciate my work. I imagine you feel I'm insignificant. But the real level five where the bomb drops, where the penny drops, so to speak, is the I fear I am insignificant. So you see the shift in the truth telling. It's, you know, every situation is co-created.
  • But if I can't go in with awareness of my part, we're not going to get to the meat of it. And let me tell you how I applied this scenario to my real life. This model, I was in a lot of conflict in my marriage. But what happened was many, many years ago when my first son was three years old, I moved from one province to another because my husband got a job and where I was working before I moved, I had this really, really cool job.
  • I felt like I was all that in a bag of chips, but my whole identity was wrapped up in my job and in my work, and when we moved from Alberta to British Columbia. Everything changed for me. I didn't have a job and I was at home with my three year old son of which I hadn't spent a lot of time with cause he was in daycare.
  • Because remember I had this really important job, so I was home all day and I was cooking and I was cleaning and I was organizing and I was sorting and I was doing all these amazing things in the house and my husband would come home and he wouldn't notice it. He wouldn't acknowledge it. I mean the nerve of him to leave his shoes sideways and not on the mat.
  • I would get incensed and we would fight over and over again. And the fighting looked a lot like, you're a jerk. I am so angry at you. You don't appreciate my work. And I might have used a different word than jerk, but for this purposes here today, we're just going to go with jerk. So I used to call him names and I used to give it all to him.
  • And then I went to this course and I recognized I had a part to play. And our conversations changed from, you're a jerk. I'm angry with you. You don't appreciate my work. You see me as sick, insignificant. I really felt insignificant. And when I turned into my level five, I fear I am insignificant. That's when I, I was so crushed and I also woke up at the same time because I recognized my whole identity was tied to my job.
  • And I didn't have my job anymore, so I did feel insignificant. So anything that he did, I defined as further proof that I was insignificant. So you see every situation, every situation that someone frustrates us, they hurt us, they let us down, we feel guilty or resent, or we feel resentment. We have a level five truth in that.
  • And if you're willing to go deep, remember Joseph Campbell said the cave you fear to enter. Holds the treasure that you seek. That treasure of mine was to recognize that I defined myself as insignificant because my whole identity was wrapped up in my job. So I had some work to do. You know, it had nothing to do with my husband.
  • It had everything to do with me. So this was so, it was such a breakthrough for me. I want to share this with you, and I'd like to give you an opportunity. To have your turn to walk through your own scenario applying these five levels of truth. So think of a situation that feels incomplete or that you feel like you haven't been heard or you feel hurt or frustrated and see if you can walk through these levels of truth and unpack that situation and see if you can come up with your level five because here's what's true.
  • If you can find your level five that your fear. That's the juice. That's the cave, and that's where the treasure is. So if you can identify it, you can look at it. You don't have to be enrolled in it anymore. You can work with it. So take your time, work through your scenario, and let's see if you can get to your level five.

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Truth Telling and Fear

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Foundations
Foundations
Introduction
Introduction
1:38
Your BACK Story
Your BACK Story
8:52
Your NOW Story
Your NOW Story
3:39
Reflection & Integration
Reflection & Integration
3:36
Identify
Identify
Your NEXT Story
Your NEXT Story
3:39
Core Motivation
Core Motivation
5:57
Values are Beliefs with a Punch
Values are Beliefs with a Punch
4:48
Getting Clear
Getting Clear
4:04
Beliefs by Design
Beliefs by Design
1:57
Reflection & Integration
Reflection & Integration
3:31
Explore
Explore
Internal and External Barriers
Internal and External Barriers
2:31
The Power of Mindset
The Power of Mindset
8:46
The Power of Truth
The Power of Truth
13:16
Truth Telling and Fear
Truth Telling and Fear
4:34
Understanding Choice
Understanding Choice
9:15
5% More Responsibility
5% More Responsibility
1:46
Take Action
Take Action
1:02
Momentum is Key
Momentum is Key
1:37
Reflection & Integration
Reflection & Integration
0:40
Align
Align
Domino Effect Life Design Framework
Domino Effect Life Design Framework
7:00
Refine, Reflect & Align
Refine, Reflect & Align
3:26
Your Final Domino Goal™
Your Final Domino Goal™
1:39
Values Alignment
Values Alignment
2:53
Connection: Life Function Areas
Connection: Life Function Areas
4:55
Your Life Balance Wheel
Your Life Balance Wheel
4:26
Life Areas Visualization
Life Areas Visualization
30:17
Whole Life Balance & Dynamic Focus
Whole Life Balance & Dynamic Focus
3:02
Activation
Activation
5:38
Category Bubbles
Category Bubbles
5:34
Activation Timeline
Activation Timeline
2:38
Managable Chunks
Managable Chunks
2:26
The Rule of 5
The Rule of 5
6:16
90-Day Activation Strategy
90-Day Activation Strategy
2:03
Final Words
Final Words
Kathleen’s Final Thoughts
Kathleen’s Final Thoughts
10:25